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Thoughts on Covid-19
Hey guys - I know a lot of you are panicking. And as someone who is trained to remain calm in the face of disaster and remain a source of calm for those who are experiencing panic, I would feel selfish and remiss if I did not share the following. In my years of studying human behavior and learning to understand existence and the human experience, I have come to understand that we are meant to live in love, and not live in fear. However, all that we have been doing as a global

What You Are and Are Not Responsible For
I often hear from people the misconception that they are responsible for way more things than they actually are. And by taking on responsibility for things that are not in fact our obligation, we can experience symptoms of stress, burn-out, resentment, depression, codependency, etc. We have enough on our plate as it is trying to take care of ourselves. Since when did you become the proprietor of other people's feelings, reactions, behaviors or duties? Who taught you that you

A Letter to Present and Future Clients
I am and will be your #1 fan. I will support you, challenge you and guide you. However, I do not have a magic wand. I cannot fix you or cure you. I cannot single-handedly change you or a circumstance in your life. One of the biggest reasons I love my job so much is because I have helped guide countless people through a journey of growth, helping them achieve the goals they set out to. The lightbulb turns on, their personality begins to shift, and beautiful events begin to unf

How to Re-Wire Your Brain
As I've written in previous posts, our brains form pathways in early childhood that become strengthened over the course of our lives that coincide with how we think, react and behave. Our thoughts become our own worst enemies. Our brains are incredibly powerful. However, they are also incredibly malleable. We spend 95% of our time in our subconscious. How we think, what we do and how we react are more often than not done subconsciously -- done without conscious thought. There

Are You Addicted to Your Emotions?
Similarly to being addicted to anything else (i.e., drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling), people can also be addicted to their emotions. When we experience an emotional reaction, powerful chemicals known as neurotransmitters (i.e., dopamine and norepinephrine), surge through our bodies. These neurotransmitters thus affect our nervous systems, eliciting a physiological response in our bodies. That's why when we experience certain emotions, our heart rate can change, our breathi

How to Heal Shame
Shame. Something that many people deal with at some point in their lives. We often pick it up in childhood (but it can happen in adulthood, often ignited by beliefs formed in childhood) from other people through their words and actions. Then we carry it as our own. And throughout our life, we will continue to recreate situations and/or dynamics that reinforce this shame we feel towards or about ourselves throughout adulthood. The cycle of shame looks like this: 1. We have a s

How to Not Take Things Personally
95% of the time, people are stuck in their thoughts. They are not judging you. They are too distracted with judging themselves. We spend the majority of our day caught up in and distracted by our own thoughts -- whether they are fear-based, self-doubting or obsessive. The ego part of our personality (I do not mean egotistical), is like the little devil on our shoulder telling us that we are not good enough or that guy sitting across the restaurant is making fun of us in his o

Why is it so Hard to Change?
In previous posts, I've mentioned the concept of subconscious programming, and why it is that we become set in our ways. Before the age of 7, our brain is in a state of theta, similar to hypnosis. Our parents, and later teachers and peers, create our "reality." By the age of 7 years, subconscious programming is complete. We are TAUGHT what we believe and how to act. Because we are not aware of this process, we continue to act the same way over and over again, becoming stuck i

New Year, New You?
One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy that I hear the most often from new clients (or anyone outside of work who is embarking on a new recovery process) is they think that by just coming to therapy (or engaging in whatever modality they choose), they will change or things will change around them. Many new clients believe I have some sort of magic wand -- that by just coming to talk to me, their problems will be solved and their issues will be fixed. Now there defini

How to Cope with Depression
Although part of coping with a depressed mood is riding out the wave of emotion, more importantly the rest comes from 'doing.' When we feel depressed, most of the time the last thing we want to do is to get up and engage in any sort of activity or task. However, the best thing for us when feeling sad, unmotivated and/or fatigued is to get up and get out. Below, I provide coping mechanisms to tackle each part of depression: cognitive, emotional and physical. When you notice th