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I often hear from people the misconception that they are responsible for way more things than they actually are. And by taking on responsibility for things that are not in fact our obligation, we can experience symptoms of stress, burn-out, resentment, depression, codependency, etc. We have enough on our plate as it is trying to take care of ourselves. Since when did you become the proprietor of other people's feelings, reactions, behaviors or duties? Who taught you that you

Similarly to being addicted to anything else (i.e., drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling), people can also be addicted to their emotions. When we experience an emotional reaction, powerful chemicals known as neurotransmitters (i.e., dopamine and norepinephrine), surge through our bodies. These neurotransmitters thus affect our nervous systems, eliciting a physiological response in our bodies. That's why when we experience certain emotions, our heart rate can change, our breathi

Shame. Something that many people deal with at some point in their lives. We often pick it up in childhood (but it can happen in adulthood, often ignited by beliefs formed in childhood) from other people through their words and actions. Then we carry it as our own. And throughout our life, we will continue to recreate situations and/or dynamics that reinforce this shame we feel towards or about ourselves throughout adulthood. The cycle of shame looks like this: 1. We have a s

95% of the time, people are stuck in their thoughts. They are not judging you. They are too distracted with judging themselves. We spend the majority of our day caught up in and distracted by our own thoughts -- whether they are fear-based, self-doubting or obsessive. The ego part of our personality (I do not mean egotistical), is like the little devil on our shoulder telling us that we are not good enough or that guy sitting across the restaurant is making fun of us in his o

You may have already heard the phrase, "we accept what we think we deserve." And that usually ends up being the case. Whether we choose to settle for a partner because we're afraid of never finding the right person, or we accept neglect because we subconsciously believe we deserve it, we may find ourselves in relationships that are not only unsatisfying, but also unhealthy. For a moment, let's put aside the paralyzing fear of being alone forever and drown out the sound of our

Although I love the holiday season and LOVE spending quality time with my family, not everyone does. I understand that the holidays can be tough for anyone, whether it's because of strained relationships or lack thereof. Here are some ways that you can best maneuver the many stressors that can come up when being around family during the holiday season. 1. Evaluate your triggers What are the interactions, statements, questions or behaviors that tend to ignite an adverse emotio

I had to give up being perfect a long time ago. It was an impossible ideal that I consistently "failed" at achieving over and over again. Not because I'm not smart enough, good enough or capable enough. Simply because perfection doesn't exist. My definition of perfection was subjective, as well as completely different from other people's. Therefore, I had gotten caught on the hamster wheel of trying to live up to not only my own unrealistic expectations, but what I also perce

Your parents may have wronged you, harmed you or neglected you - whether it is now or in the past. And because of how your parents treated you or what they taught you, you may very well have developed core beliefs about yourself and the world around you that are negative and self-defeating. HOWEVER, those beliefs and resentments you have held onto all this time are not serving you. They are keeping you stuck. In no way am I saying that your feelings are invalid. In no way am

The importance of gut health More often than not, I have clients struggling with anxiety and depression that also have problems with digestion. Our "gut" says a lot about our overall health, especially our mental health. If our digestive system is not in balance and our parasympthaetic nervous system is not properly activated, we can thus experience a whole slew of extra problems such as immune deficiencies, anxiety, depression, chronic diarrhea, skin/allergy reactions, forge

Article specially written for CounselingByTheSeaNJ.com By: Freya Amber We live in a fast-paced world where stress and lack of sleep are normalized as inevitable — even valued — parts of work life. However, there comes a point where you have to stop putting self-care on the back burner, otherwise you will end up going down the rabbit hole and facing burn-out. So if you find yourself feeling excessively sluggish, unable to concentrate, and fighting to focus, you may have to