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You may have already heard the phrase, "we accept what we think we deserve." And that usually ends up being the case. Whether we choose to settle for a partner because we're afraid of never finding the right person, or we accept neglect because we subconsciously believe we deserve it, we may find ourselves in relationships that are not only unsatisfying, but also unhealthy. For a moment, let's put aside the paralyzing fear of being alone forever and drown out the sound of our

Although I love the holiday season and LOVE spending quality time with my family, not everyone does. I understand that the holidays can be tough for anyone, whether it's because of strained relationships or lack thereof. Here are some ways that you can best maneuver the many stressors that can come up when being around family during the holiday season. 1. Evaluate your triggers What are the interactions, statements, questions or behaviors that tend to ignite an adverse emotio

Your parents may have wronged you, harmed you or neglected you - whether it is now or in the past. And because of how your parents treated you or what they taught you, you may very well have developed core beliefs about yourself and the world around you that are negative and self-defeating. HOWEVER, those beliefs and resentments you have held onto all this time are not serving you. They are keeping you stuck. In no way am I saying that your feelings are invalid. In no way am

The last thing you may want to hear is that getting over your ex will take time. However, time allows us to process our emotions, reconstruct our beliefs about the relationship, and thus accept moving forward. Below, I give you some tips on how to move past a break-up -- pick yourself up the floor, heal your wounds, move towards self-confidence, and allow yourself to recognize any maladaptive patterns you can resolve so that your next relationship is even healthier. Furtherm

1. They don't hit the snooze button. At night, plan your outfit, to-do list and tasks for the next day. Wake up early. Start your day with positive affirmations and review your goals for the day. Meditate for at least 5 minutes. If possible, exercise in the morning as a way to allow yourself to burn energy all day long. Allow your mornings to be productive and pleasant, not dreary and dreaded. 2. They are purpose-oriented. Set goals for yourself, and methods to keep track of

Being assertive means sticking up for yourself and not wavering on your stance or point of view. Practicing assertiveness is achieved by RESPECTING the other person's viewpoint, regardless of whether or not you agree with it. It is possible to ask for what you want, get a point across, and receive what you deserve WITHOUT being aggressive. Assertive people state their opinions, while continuing to be respectful of others. Passive people don't state their opinions at all. Pass

Although social media has become a wonderful platform to connect with loved ones, celebrities, journalists and one another, it also has it consequences related to self-esteem. During counseling, I often hear about experiences with cyber-bullying, or individuals feeling negatively about themselves as a result of comparing what they see others posting and experiencing on social media to their own lives. Regardless of the many benefits of social media, especially from a professi

Both maintaining old and forming new friendships as an adult can be difficult. As we grow older, move away, get new jobs, maybe get married and create families, we may find it more and more difficult to maintain friendships we made when we were in middle school, high school, college, first jobs, etc. Below I will share with you some ways to maintain relationships with our oldest loved ones, as well as some tips on how to form new friendships as we manuever adulthood. Sustaini

It is not uncommon to find ourselves in a toxic or unhealthy relationship - whether it be romantic, familial or friendly. Once we become involved or enmeshed in toxicity, we may find it difficult to get ourselves out. I want to emphasize the importance of removing yourself from an unhealthy relationship or environment. It is okay to protect yourself, and detach with love. Here are some ways in which to do so: Personally Focus only on what you can control Rid of expectations D

Each person has a different primary love language. Often, we do not know what ours is, or even what our partner's is. Therefore, we unknowingly act in contrast with our partner's love language, and are unsuccessful in showing him/her love in the way that he/she wants to receive it. This can thus lead to problems in a relationship, sometimes leading to feelings of confusion, resentment, or feeling unloved and unappreciated. When I have clients coming in for couples counseling