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In previous posts, I've mentioned the concept of subconscious programming, and why it is that we become set in our ways. Before the age of 7, our brain is in a state of theta, similar to hypnosis. Our parents, and later teachers and peers, create our "reality." By the age of 7 years, subconscious programming is complete. We are TAUGHT what we believe and how to act. Because we are not aware of this process, we continue to act the same way over and over again, becoming stuck i

One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy that I hear the most often from new clients (or anyone outside of work who is embarking on a new recovery process) is they think that by just coming to therapy (or engaging in whatever modality they choose), they will change or things will change around them. Many new clients believe I have some sort of magic wand -- that by just coming to talk to me, their problems will be solved and their issues will be fixed. Now there defini

Although I love the holiday season and LOVE spending quality time with my family, not everyone does. I understand that the holidays can be tough for anyone, whether it's because of strained relationships or lack thereof. Here are some ways that you can best maneuver the many stressors that can come up when being around family during the holiday season. 1. Evaluate your triggers What are the interactions, statements, questions or behaviors that tend to ignite an adverse emotio

I had to give up being perfect a long time ago. It was an impossible ideal that I consistently "failed" at achieving over and over again. Not because I'm not smart enough, good enough or capable enough. Simply because perfection doesn't exist. My definition of perfection was subjective, as well as completely different from other people's. Therefore, I had gotten caught on the hamster wheel of trying to live up to not only my own unrealistic expectations, but what I also perce

Your parents may have wronged you, harmed you or neglected you - whether it is now or in the past. And because of how your parents treated you or what they taught you, you may very well have developed core beliefs about yourself and the world around you that are negative and self-defeating. HOWEVER, those beliefs and resentments you have held onto all this time are not serving you. They are keeping you stuck. In no way am I saying that your feelings are invalid. In no way am

The importance of gut health More often than not, I have clients struggling with anxiety and depression that also have problems with digestion. Our "gut" says a lot about our overall health, especially our mental health. If our digestive system is not in balance and our parasympthaetic nervous system is not properly activated, we can thus experience a whole slew of extra problems such as immune deficiencies, anxiety, depression, chronic diarrhea, skin/allergy reactions, forge

The last thing you may want to hear is that getting over your ex will take time. However, time allows us to process our emotions, reconstruct our beliefs about the relationship, and thus accept moving forward. Below, I give you some tips on how to move past a break-up -- pick yourself up the floor, heal your wounds, move towards self-confidence, and allow yourself to recognize any maladaptive patterns you can resolve so that your next relationship is even healthier. Furtherm

Article specially written for CounselingByTheSeaNJ.com By: Freya Amber We live in a fast-paced world where stress and lack of sleep are normalized as inevitable — even valued — parts of work life. However, there comes a point where you have to stop putting self-care on the back burner, otherwise you will end up going down the rabbit hole and facing burn-out. So if you find yourself feeling excessively sluggish, unable to concentrate, and fighting to focus, you may have to

Tapping is a technique I often teach clients struggling with issues such as anxiety, weight loss, trauma, difficulty processing emotions, and self-esteem, to name a few. The emotional freedom technique of tapping provides relief for several emotional and physical issues, by utilizing the tapping of pulse points on our hands, face and underarm while repeating negative and eventually positive statements to ourselves to help us process unresolved emotional processes. Our emotion

In previous posts, I have written about the importance of self-care and how to practice it. I know that sometimes we may not believe we have time to take care of ourselves, or even have the desire to do so. Therefore, I want to give you a 30-day challenge that you can complete on your own -- to help learn how to put yourself first, as well as build your self-confidence and overall well-being! Day 1: Declutter a room or workspace. Day 2: Listen to a guided meditation. Day 3: T