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I am and will be your #1 fan. I will support you, challenge you and guide you. However, I do not have a magic wand. I cannot fix you or cure you. I cannot single-handedly change you or a circumstance in your life. One of the biggest reasons I love my job so much is because I have helped guide countless people through a journey of growth, helping them achieve the goals they set out to. The lightbulb turns on, their personality begins to shift, and beautiful events begin to unf

Similarly to being addicted to anything else (i.e., drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling), people can also be addicted to their emotions. When we experience an emotional reaction, powerful chemicals known as neurotransmitters (i.e., dopamine and norepinephrine), surge through our bodies. These neurotransmitters thus affect our nervous systems, eliciting a physiological response in our bodies. That's why when we experience certain emotions, our heart rate can change, our breathi

Shame. Something that many people deal with at some point in their lives. We often pick it up in childhood (but it can happen in adulthood, often ignited by beliefs formed in childhood) from other people through their words and actions. Then we carry it as our own. And throughout our life, we will continue to recreate situations and/or dynamics that reinforce this shame we feel towards or about ourselves throughout adulthood. The cycle of shame looks like this: 1. We have a s

95% of the time, people are stuck in their thoughts. They are not judging you. They are too distracted with judging themselves. We spend the majority of our day caught up in and distracted by our own thoughts -- whether they are fear-based, self-doubting or obsessive. The ego part of our personality (I do not mean egotistical), is like the little devil on our shoulder telling us that we are not good enough or that guy sitting across the restaurant is making fun of us in his o

In previous posts, I've mentioned the concept of subconscious programming, and why it is that we become set in our ways. Before the age of 7, our brain is in a state of theta, similar to hypnosis. Our parents, and later teachers and peers, create our "reality." By the age of 7 years, subconscious programming is complete. We are TAUGHT what we believe and how to act. Because we are not aware of this process, we continue to act the same way over and over again, becoming stuck i

One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy that I hear the most often from new clients (or anyone outside of work who is embarking on a new recovery process) is they think that by just coming to therapy (or engaging in whatever modality they choose), they will change or things will change around them. Many new clients believe I have some sort of magic wand -- that by just coming to talk to me, their problems will be solved and their issues will be fixed. Now there defini

Although part of coping with a depressed mood is riding out the wave of emotion, more importantly the rest comes from 'doing.' When we feel depressed, most of the time the last thing we want to do is to get up and engage in any sort of activity or task. However, the best thing for us when feeling sad, unmotivated and/or fatigued is to get up and get out. Below, I provide coping mechanisms to tackle each part of depression: cognitive, emotional and physical. When you notice th

You may have already heard the phrase, "we accept what we think we deserve." And that usually ends up being the case. Whether we choose to settle for a partner because we're afraid of never finding the right person, or we accept neglect because we subconsciously believe we deserve it, we may find ourselves in relationships that are not only unsatisfying, but also unhealthy. For a moment, let's put aside the paralyzing fear of being alone forever and drown out the sound of our

Although I love the holiday season and LOVE spending quality time with my family, not everyone does. I understand that the holidays can be tough for anyone, whether it's because of strained relationships or lack thereof. Here are some ways that you can best maneuver the many stressors that can come up when being around family during the holiday season. 1. Evaluate your triggers What are the interactions, statements, questions or behaviors that tend to ignite an adverse emotio

I had to give up being perfect a long time ago. It was an impossible ideal that I consistently "failed" at achieving over and over again. Not because I'm not smart enough, good enough or capable enough. Simply because perfection doesn't exist. My definition of perfection was subjective, as well as completely different from other people's. Therefore, I had gotten caught on the hamster wheel of trying to live up to not only my own unrealistic expectations, but what I also perce