Managing Your Anger

Here are some do's and don'ts with anger management:



  • express how you feel clearly and concisely

  • recognize your early signs of anger to keep it from escalating

  • take a time-out for at least 20 minutes to calm down

  • find healthy outlets (vigorous exercise, free writing) to express your anger safely

  • do make amends by acknowledging abusive anger


  • blame others for how you feel. Own your feelings.

  • ignore your emotions -- they will turn into a stress response and unresolved hurt

  • leave. Instead, let them know you need a break

  • use swearing, threatening gestures, block exits or engage in physical contact

  • just say sorry. Find the tools to change.


Helpful tips to help manage your anger, especially when engaging with another person: 

  • REMEMBER: Your thoughts cause your anger. The other person does not cause your anger.

  • ASK: Is my anger going to help me achieve my goals?

  • STOP: Being defensive. Listen to the other person and try to understand their perspective.

  • THINK: Where am I on the tension/stress scale? (A good practice is to rank your stress or tension from 1-10 with 10 being the most severe. After ranking, cope accordingly).

  • PRACTICE: Deep breathing and relaxation techniques

  • IF NECESSARY: Walk away and calm down


For more helpful tips on communication and conflict resolution, see my blog post "Conflict in Relationships"




Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Please reload

Featured Posts

A Letter to Present and Future Clients

Please reload

Recent Posts

Please reload


Contact Us


854 Asbury Avenue

2nd Floor, Suites 250 & 260

Ocean City, NJ 08226

Social Media

  • White Instagram Icon

Click to follow us!

© Copyright 2017 by Counseling by the Sea LLC. Proudly created with by Point Marketing