How to Detach with Love

It is not uncommon to find ourselves in a toxic or unhealthy relationship - whether it be romantic, familial or friendly. Once we become involved or enmeshed in toxicity, we may find it difficult to get ourselves out. I want to emphasize the importance of removing yourself from an unhealthy relationship or environment. It is okay to protect yourself, and detach with love. Here are some ways in which to do so: 

 

  • Personally

    • Focus only on what you can control

    • Rid of expectations

    • Don't turn the other person's problems into your own problems; stop focusing on their behavior and turn the focus onto you

    • Allow the other person to make their own decisions and experience their own choices/consequences

    • Only help when asked, and  if you feel comfortable doing so

 

  • Communication-wise

    • Respond, don't react

    • Set emotional boundaries by letting the other person know how to treat you

    • Take space from an unproductive argument

    • Don't give unsolicited advice or tell the other person what to do

    • Compliment the other person on what they are doing well

 

  • Physically

    • Leave (potentially) dangerous situations

    • Choose not to visit your dysfunctional family member or loved one OR arrive late and leave early

    • Remove any children from the unsafe environment

    • Take physical breaks from the other person - take time to yourself without seeing or talking to him/her for as long as you need or want to

 

 

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