What to Do When You Don't Get Your Way

When we don't get our way, we may throw a tantrum (hello, reverting back to a child-like state!), question the meaning of the outcome, or even (shockingly!) practice acceptance. Below I provide you with some steps to take to help you better cope when something doesn't go the way you wanted it to or how you planned it to.

 

1. Take a step back and evaluate.

 

2. Acknowledge your feelings and accept them without judgement of yourself. Allow yourself to feel, and process your emotions.

 

3. Vent to someone if you need to, but afterwards, try not to linger on the problem.

 

4. Acknowledge the negative or unrealistic thoughts you may experiencing, and try to reframe them to a more balanced perspective (although you may not believe in the new perspective just yet). 

 

5. Take a break. Rest, disconnect, and/or go out and do something you enjoy. 

 

6. Then, try to uncover what you're really upset about. Often, it comes down to a self-centered fear or insecurity.

 

7. Recognize this as an obstacle to overcome.

 

8. Analyze the situation and focus on actionable steps to achieve another desired outcome OR to go in a different direction.

 

9. Recognize that this has happened for some reason and think about what lesson could be learned from this.

 

10. Practice acceptance. Focus only what you can control and change (i.e., yourself) and let go of what you cannot.

 

 

 

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