I am and will be your #1 fan. I will support you, challenge you and guide you. However, I do not have a magic wand. I cannot fix you or cure you. I cannot single-handedly change you or a circumstance in your life.
One of the biggest reasons I love my job so much is because I have helped guide countless people through a journey of growth, helping them achieve the goals they set out to. The lightbulb turns on, their personality begins to shift, and beautiful events begin to unfold in their life as a result of the work and time they invest in their healing. However, this has less to do with me and more to do with the individual I am working with.
Many people come into therapy expecting that by talking through their problems, they will suddenly change. That does not happen. But, that is not necessarily a bad thing. How much better would it feel to achieve a sense of peace because YOU pushed yourself there? Because YOU did the work and pushed through the pain to get there. Not because I waved a magic wand.
My job is to create a safe space for you to unleash your feelings, beliefs and fears. It is my job to provide observations and help you make connections. I can teach you coping mechanisms and new skills in order to achieve the changes you want to make. I can provide insight and alternative perspectives to help you see from a different point of view. I will challenge your way of thinking and behaving to help you grow.
But everything I teach you is up to YOU to implement. I cannot control what you do outside of my office with what we work on inside of my office. And if at any point you do not understand a skill, or are uncomfortable with the direction therapy is going in, I wholeheartedly ENCOURAGE you to let me know. This is your process, not mine. And it is a collaboration process. It is my job to help you be as comfortable as you can be during the therapeutic process, and tailor my approach to your needs. However, I need you to speak up because I cannot read your mind.
My goal for every client is help them achieve their ideal self. I can promise you it is possible. But it is very much dependent on the amount of work and time you choose to invest in your wellbeing. Changing the pathways in our brain, forming new habits and experiencing the emotional shifts as a result will take weeks and months, not hours or days. Please don't let that discourage you. I encourage you to see it as an opportunity that most people do not ever give themselves.
We spend years and years behaving, reacting and thinking in the same ways over and over again. It will take less time to stop those patterns. But it will still take time. By smashing the false expectation that therapy or the therapist him/herself will cure you will allow you to experience less disappointment down the road. You and only you can change you. I will help you get there.